Monday, May 9, 2011

Jason Still Lives: The Top 13 Moments in the Friday the 13th Films

Gasp! There hasn't been a post in over a week! But there's good reason for it. Many things are underway for our Middle Earth Collector's blog and we'll fill you in on them very soon. However, for now, there is cause to celebrate! Why, you ask? Because this upcoming Friday is a holiday! A stress-free holiday that warrants relaxation, swimming, campfires, hanging out with friends, romantic nights, and long walks by the lake. Of course, this holiday needs to be celebrated at a secluded camp site to get the most out of it. May we recommend Camp Crystal Lake? Oh, you've heard of it? What? They now call it Camp Blood, you say? Nonsense...you're going to let some maniac in a hockey mask ruin your fun?

Voorhees. Jason Voorhees.
 To help get into the Friday the 13th spirit, here are The Top 13 Moments in the Friday the 13th Films.


#13. JASON X
FROST BITE
Liquid nitrogen. Great for taking out T-1000s.

Jason's brief foray into cosmetics. It didn't work out.
Jason Voorhees has hacked, maimed, and slashed his way through sequel after sequel and, typically, all he ever needed was his trusty machete. Well, not here. Now, many fans deride Jason X, and with good reason. Nevertheless, even the film's most vocal critics can see the originality that comes when our hockey-masked friend dips Adrienne's face into a tub of liquid nitrogen, freezing it solid, and then proceeds to smash her head onto the counter, shattering it into a bloody pulp. Say what you will about Jason X, but this scene belongs on any Friday the 13th 'top' list.

#12. FRIDAY THE 13th PART VI: JASON LIVES
PAINTBALL DISASTER
Jason plays for keeps.
It's no secret that Part VI was as much a satire on the genre as it was a sequel. Everything from the James Bond-esque opening scene, to the American Express Card floating in a puddle of blood, to Alice Cooper's pumping rock score - Part VI may have had its share of humor, but it gave new blood to what could have become a stagnant rehash. Few scenes in the franchise share the humor that the paintball scene does in Part VI. Stumbling on a group of paintballers, Jason dishes out a triple decapitation! But that's not all, he also finishes off another paintballer by slamming his head into a tree - and leaving a smiley face embedded in the blood stained bark! Now that's what veterans of the sport have come to call 'Extreme Paintball'.

#11. FRIDAY THE 13th
SLICING THE BACON
Dieing. It's a real pain in the neck!
Kevin Bacon wasn't always a Hollywood star. In fact, back in 1980, he was just another teenager that found himself at Camp Crystal Lake. While Mr. Bacon thought he could lie back and relax, Ms. Voorhees proved otherwise, by brutally shoving a spear through the back of his neck from under the bed. The spear through Bacon's flesh and the resulting geyser of blood is still one of the best effects in the whole franchise and puts to shame the CGI-aided gore scenes in modern horror films (that's directed at the Nightmare on Elm Street reboot, one of the genres most notorious offenders).

#10. FREDDY VS. JASON
THE FINAL SHOWDOWN
Face off!
Anyone who was a fan of the Friday the 13th franchise in the '80s and/or '90s had long heard about the possibility of Jason Voorhees and Freddy Krueger going one-on-one. Many thought it was never going to happen. After all, Paramount owned Jason and New Line had Freddy's rights. By the early '90s deals were made and money exchanged hands and lo, New Line had both iconic characters. So, do we get the battle of the century? No. We get Jason Goes To Hell, which hinted at promised us a confrontation between the two titans before the end credits when Freddy's hand reached up from the Earth to drag Jason's shattered mask into the bowls of hell. Ok, fine. Next film is sure to be the long-awaited fight, right? No. First Wes Craven releases A New Nightmare and then, several years later, New Line makes Jason X. All the while, rumors continue about this supposed 'Freddy vs. Jason' film. Well, obviously, the movie did happen - and thus the showdown in the film's final ten minutes deserves to be among our top 13 moments. Of course, had Kane Hodder been chosen as Jason, it might have been closer to the #1 spot.

#9. FRIDAY THE 13th PART VII: THE NEW BLOOD
SLEEPING BAG FUN
An insomniac's best friend.
Sleeping bags. They're instrumental to camping. They're also instrumental to getting onto this list if they're used by Jason - to severely bash the camper within the sleeping bag to a bloody pulp. Unfortunately, the MPAA tore the death scenes in Part VII to pieces, making them a pale shadow of their former selves. Yet, the glory of Jason smashing the sleeping bag, with victim inside, against a tree is still brilliant.

#8. FRIDAY THE 13th PART VI: JASON LIVES
JASON: THE CHIROPRACTOR
Some people just don't have the spine to be the sheriff in Crystal Lake.
All Sheriff Garris wanted to do was protect his daughter and make sure crazy hooligans weren't resurrecting the name of Jason Voorhees. Sadly, Garris didn't realize until it was too late that Jason, much like the film's title implies, lives. Garris puts up a good fight against the hockey masked killer, until his body is folded backwards and snapped at the waist.

#7. FRIDAY THE 13th PART III
DEATH FROM ABOVE aka HALF WAY THERE
Now Andy knows. And knowing is half the battle.
Not everyone can walk around on their hands. Andy could. At least, until he ran into Jason - who promptly used his machete to slice the young man in half, vertically.

#6. FRIDAY THE 13th PART VII: THE NEW BLOOD
HE SAW WHAT HE SAW
He came, he sawed, he slaughtered.
Over twelve films Jason has used nearly every weapon known to exist to dispatch his victims. However, in Part VII he sought out variety (it is the spice of life, after all) - with no tool more unique than a circular saw. Dr. Crews may not have been a great doctor, but he was great fodder for Jason's annual Friday the 13th summer bash.

#5. FRIDAY THE 13th PART VI: JASON LIVES
WAKE UP CALL / HEART TO HEART
Mr. Kotter was never this tough!
Tommy Jarvis aims to make sure Jason is dead, once and for all. His plan? Dig up the corpse. Not very smart, especially at night, when the forecast calls for lightning and rain. Oh, by the way. Apparently lightning can revive Jason in the same way that it can juice up Frankenstein and turn King Kong into a living lighting rod as seen in King Kong vs. Godzilla. So, what does a reanimated, rotting corpse do when it wakes up, you ask? Well, if said corpse is not a fan of Welcome Back, Kotter, it rips out Horshack's heart.

#4. FRIDAY THE 13th PART III
 EYE SEE YOU
Who knew Jason was such a good shot?
This ranks as #4 for two reasons. First, this is the first scene where you see Jason with his trademark mask. Second, Jason uses a harpoon gun to fire a spear into his victim's eye. Can it get any better? Yes, in fact, it can. It's all in 3D.

#3. FRIDAY THE 13th PART VIII: JASON TAKES MANHATTAN
LOSING ONE'S HEAD

Julius was one of the fortunate ones to survive the doomed voyage from Crystal Lake to Manhattan. He was also one heck of an amateur boxer. It's not widely known that Jason himself is a bit of a practitioner of the sport himself. When Julius confronts Jason on a roof, instead of running, he has a bout with the pychopath. Julius holds his own at first, landing a flurry of devastating blows against Jason's face. But there's only so long you can lay waste to a sturdy hockey mask before your fists are bleeding. Jason, allowing the youngster his fun, waits until Julius is finished and deliver his own right hook - taking the young man's head off! All and all it's a typical showing of HBO's (Horror Box Office) Friday Night Frights.
Heavyweight champ!

#2. FRIDAY THE 13th PART VI: JASON LIVES
HIGHWAY TO HELL
RV decor for the '80s.
 Okay, so we've chosen a number of scenes from Part VI, but who can deny the awesomeness of Jason Lives? What other Friday the 13th film has Jason snapping a Sheriff in half, triple-decapitating paintballers, ripping Horshack's heart out, and ramming his victim's face through the wall of an RV while Alice Cooper's Teenage Frankenstein blasts in the background? Yes, #2 goes to Jason's bathroom brawl scene in the RV, just before he takes out the whole RV, which careens into a flaming wreck. Afterwards, what does Jason do? He stands gloriously atop the burning hunk of metal, triumphant.

Perfect for the music video.
#1. FRIDAY THE 13th
 HE WASN'T A VERY GOOD SWIMMER
So much for fishing...
...and the #1 spot goes to: the final scene in the iconic classic that started it all - when Jason rises up from the depths of Crystal Lake to pull Alice down with him. Even today with all the graphic Saw films, CGI creatures, and cinematic spectacles, none can compare to a good ol' fashioned 'jump scare' and this scene takes the cake.

2 comments:

  1. Why am I just seeing this post today! Great countdown of Jason's moments!

    ReplyDelete